Me: I’m so mad at you because you have me thinking of movie scenes that’ll never happen. Like Steve, Natasha, and Fury eating sweet potato pie at Isaiah’s house, watching Eli toss a football out in the yard. I’ll just put that in a box with Misty and Colleen chasing the Hypno Hustler through Harlem.
Brothers: Let me find out Hypno Hustler shows up in a movie and there’s not an extended Motown song and dance number. Heads will roll. Not even kidding, I want a full ten minutes of funk and soul, Misty and Colleen as backup dancers all, “He’s gonna die for this.”
Me: If I ever wrote Heroes for Hire, the first scene would be Misty getting her hair pressed for her cousin’s wedding and Hypno Hustler coming in. You know how guys are always coming in selling ish in black salons? He’d be selling bootleg CDs as a ruse to rob the joint.
Brothers: “Hold on now, shawty. Lemme just put this in your boombox here.” “We use an iPod.” “Uhhhhhhh, a what? That don’t even sound good!”
Me: Then he leaves with the cash and you can’t stop dancing. Now Misty’s gotta chase him down 106th trying not to sweat her hair out. Black superhero ish, for real.
Me: Perfect. Misty ripping off the back window of a bus. “Don’t be alarmed, everybody. That motherfucker just owes me fifty dollars.”