I’m about to open up the Celebrity Center for Rehabilitating Racists and make some money since it seems like saying/doing racist crap and then apologizing for it has become the latest fad for the rich and infamous.
“The first order of business is that the CCRR requests that all members purchase a thirty-dollar Harmony Band to wear around their wrist to symbolize their status as a recovering racist. The Harmony Band is a simple black string. We chose the color black because it contains all the colors of the visible spectrum and it reminds our followers that they too should embrace all colors and all people.
“The second order of business is that the CCRR requests that all members drink our bottled water United. Each bottle of United contains fresh spring water from each continent of our fabulous earth. Which each sip, one renews his or her commitment to embracing all members of our planet and treating each individual with respect and dignity no matter the color. A portion of the proceeds from each six-dollar bottle will go to charity.”
The crazy part is, I seriously think I’d succeed if I actually tried that. Hell, I’m two seconds away from making a website, people. Two seconds.