Garbage in. Garbage out.

I have lowbrow tastes. I don’t care. I like junk food, soda, wrestling, soap operas, cartoons, video games, Latin freestyle, disco, jeans, t-shirts, comics, gossip blogs, and romance novels. Show me the worst of American culture and I have probably eaten it, listened to it, read it, watched it, or worn it.

However, I think that my continued enjoyment of pretty much what is the worst that my culture has to offer might be having a bit of a negative effect on my psyche. I’ve been feeling rather sluggish and depressed lately. So, I’ve decided to put my brain and body on a diet for a week or two. The Body Diet starts tomorrow. The Brain Diet starts the day after tomorrow because there is no way that I am not going to download One Life To Live when David Fumero will be appearing without his shirt on. And that’s final.

The Body Diet should be easy. I simply swear off soda, cookies, candy, and ice cream. No big deal.

The Brain Diet is going to be a nightmare. No soap operas. No superhero comics. No cartoons. No wrestling. No UFC. No gossip blogs. No message boards prone to Internet drama. No raggedy t-shirts. I fully expect to be a basketcase by the second day. However, the following cheats will be allowed:

  • The Venture Bros.
  • Denim jeans
  • Daredevil
  • The Longest Journey: Dreamfall
  • Disco
  • Latin freestyle

I know a couple of days from now I will remember something that should have gone on the cheats list and I will scream in agony over being deprived of it. And I’ll be sure to complain about it here too.